It's been a while. So here are a few quick updates before I start writing about whats troubling me. My 27th birthday was great! Babe & Buddy got me the Wii Fit and we did dinner with my family! The Wii Fit is awesome and I have been using it just about every other day :) Babe had a great Father's Day! We headed to the beach on Sunday, and stayed until Tuesday. The resort we stayed at was awesome, and we will definetely be going back. It was called the Francis Scott Key Motel (! After getting back on Tuesday, we took Buddy to see KungFu Panda - great movie! Then Buddy was put to bed early b/c of his attitude problem he's been having lately...which is what I want to write about.

I am now a firm believer that there is no such thing as the "terrible 2's"...but that there are the "Terrible 3's!" instead! I'm not sure what it Buddy testing our limits? Is he already hanging around the wrong crowds at school - isn't he too young for that?! Or are Babe & I just not doing a good job at disciplining him? Whatever it is, I am tired of yelling at him and punishing him ALL the time. I feel like all we did in Ocean City was yell at Buddy. Or tell him things repeatedly. Or threaten to take things away. While we do usually follow through with our threats (no more Indiana Jones rope for the rest of the day, early bed time, etc), none of it seems to be working. And as I said before, I am so tired of yelling at him.

He's also had an incident at school where he took a little girls candy! Teacher tried to get it from him and he popped it right in his mouth and laughed...thought it was funny! He did eventually apologize, but that didn't help. He still laughs when he tells someone about it. But we're having Buddy take candy back into the girl and tell her that it won't happen again and he is very sorry. So we'll see how that goes.

But then I asked his teacher if his attitude has been bad while at school, and she says "well, actually yes, I was going to email you about that!" AHHH!!!!!!! I don't get it!? It did make me feel better that she said when kids are bad at school and at home, it's usually just a phase, but I am so ready for this phase to be overwith!

I need some kind of order with him. We were going to start a "chore chart" after our vacation, but I just haven't gotten around to it. I think I will tonight. We keep telling him he has to EARN things, but he doesn't understand how he can go about earning them. So maybe a chore chart will least for a little while.

If anyone has any other suggestions, I am totally open to them! So please suggest!

1 comment:

cinilouwho said...

Brace yourself it’s long

I totally agree about the terrible three’s not the two’s. Like you, I felt like I was at my breaking point with Zach. Don’t worry I really think there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The chart is a great idea, look into Melissa and Doug’s responsibility chart this is a newer one, you may want to look around on line for different ones. My mother found one for $2 at goodwill. It really seems to help. Just make sure there are things that he can master and feel good about so he will want to work on the things he needs more direction on, and so he wants to participate. We use a sticker book and at the end of the week he will get a sticker if he gets at least six good marks in one of the responsibilities and one sticker for a perfect day. Every five stickers he get he get a prize (Mc Donald’s, or a random thing I might get at the dollar store) For those things he is really having a difficult time with, I tell him if he gets a good mark in that responsibility everyday that week he will get a really big prize.
Another thing that has made a huge difference with Zach is maintaining a routine, which is a challenge due to David’s crazy work sched. Make sure everyone is on the same page including grandparents and anyone who might watch him (the same sched, rules and discipline techniques). It was really hard at first but it has made a huge difference. I am sure it is just a phase but this is the age that really creates there personality so remember to be a good role model (which I know you already are). I can’t tell you how many negative things he has picked up from me and David, things I never really gave much thought until he started to model some of our behaviors.
The thing that was most hard for me is that I felt like I was so much more negative than positive. When he is having a really hard day, it was always NO, THAT’S NOT NICE….. It was so hard to find the positives those days. It sounds much like you were describing, but I really think it is so important set him up for success on those days (create something he will do really well at, coloring, building) that way you have the positives. It really takes a lot to calm down and remove yourself from your emotions to thinking of a way to change his environment. Believe me I am no expert especially when it is just me and Zach when David works 12hr shifts, but when I am able to do it, it really works.
I am not sure what time Tyler goes to bed, but when Zach was going through a really bad stage we noticed he was not getting enough sleep so we put him to bed earlier and it seems to really help. Before he would fight bed time, now he falls asleep in a matter of minutes.

As you can see this is something David and I have been working a lot on. They are all suggestions, I am no expert, but these are the things that seem to work the best.